Too Lazy To Think Of Title . . .
by Obscurus Lupa
Summary: This fic has everything you could want! Vampires, werewolves, dinosaurs, magical books, fairies, Merton being electrocuted . . . Please read and review! *I have finally completed it!*
1. Cassandra's A Cannon Ball!

Too Lazy To Think Of A Title . . . 

By: cbpatches2001 

A/N: Tristan, I'd appreciate it if you stopped asking me how Merton got his clothes back on in "Evil Merton", I'm not trying to sound rude, but sometimes the questions get inappropriate. It was funny the first time, but now it's just a nuisance to hear it again. If you really must know, his clothes appeared back on him when he turned human again, I can't really explain it anymore than that. Well, to everyone out there, have a happy reading, as always, and have a great holiday season! 

Scene: The Park   
Merton walks by the park, his long black trench coat almost touching the ground. After he goes off screen, we see two glowing gold-red eyes in the trees. They walk out and see the pair of eyes belong to none other than Cassandra{she's the vampire girlfriend that Merton got that could only drink werewolf blood.}   
Cassandra: I've been looking for you, Merton.   
She smiles and flies off. 

THEME 

Scene: Pleasantville High   
Tommy v.o.: Okay, if someone asked me to tell them how many times a day Merton got stuffed into his locker or given a swirly, I honestly wouldn't be able to tell them. I don't think Lori would be able to either. Today was one of those days where he got even more locker stuffings than usual . . .   
Tommy opens his locker to get some stuff out. There's some banging from Merton's locker.   
Merton{muffled from inside locker}: Hello? Anyone? Will someone please help a poor little soul from his cavern of school miseries?   
Tommy, still remembering what Merton's combo was, opened the locker and let him out. He brushed himself off.   
Merton: Thanks, Tommy.   
Lori came up.   
Lori: Tnt stuff you into your locker again?   
Merton: How is it that everyone can tell if I'm beaten up? I can defend myself just fine!   
Lori: Well, face it, Merton, every day you're either stuffed into your locker or stuck in the basketball hoops.   
Merton: Well, I'd like to see if you could face four hundred and twenty pounds of tnt after you!   
Lori: Actually, I've beaten them before.   
Merton: Great! I'm the only person in this school who can't beat tnt!   
Lori: Well, how about I teach you how to kick box?   
Merton: Yeah right, and get- That's brilliant!   
He put his hand to his chin, kind of like Sherlock, deep in thought. 

Scene: Merton's thoughts   
Merton walks into school wearing sunglasses with about five or six girls in hand. Tnt walk up and people are throwing toilet paper at them. Merton puts out his arms and the women take his trench coat and sunglasses off. Tnt walk forward and he kicks them straight into some lockers which were conveniently open. Lori walks up to him and kisses him. He smiles and does a kunfu kick. 

Scene: Pleasantville High   
Tommy: Dude, Merton!   
Merton{coming out of his thoughts}: Huh?   
Tommy: We've got to get to class.   
Merton: Oh right . . .   
They left off screen. 

Scene: The Lair   
Merton types at his computer, giggling.   
Merton: Okay, let's see . . . If I click this one . . . Yes! I beat Minesweeper! You da man, Merton, you da man! It's your birthday, it's your birthday . . .   
He smiles and does a victory dance. There's a knock on the door and Becky comes in.   
Becky: What the heck are you doing, Freakzilla?   
Merton: Uh, knocking? That ring a bell in the dim pit of darkness that's the inside of your head?   
Becky{rolling her eyes}: Whatever, you have some people over . . .   
She left and Lori and Tommy came in.   
Lori: Ready to start?   
Merton jumped up excitedly.   
Merton: Bring on the kickboxing! I'm going to be the next Jackie Chan! Not the live action one, but the animated cartoon!   
Tommy: What's the difference between the real Jackie Chan and the cartoon?   
Merton: Hello? *knocks on Tommy's head like a door* The real Jackie Chan can kill maybe two guys at a time and the animated Jackie Chan can take on over a dozen and come out unscathed!   
There was a moment of silence, in which Lori and Tommy looked at Merton strangely.   
Merton: So . . . Are we going to start?   
Lori: All right. Now, you have to go in this position . . . 

Scene: The Woods   
Tommy is wolfed out and running through the woods.   
Tommy v.o.: I guess you're wondering about the kickboxing lessons. Well, let's just say they didn't turn out so well . . . 

Scene: Clips From The Kickboxing Lessons   
Clip#1: Merton gets kicked in the face.   
Clip#2: Merton tries to charge at Lori and runs into a wall.   
Clip#3: Merton tries kicking Lori and she blocks every one, kicking him in the face again.   
Clip#4: Merton tries kicking high in the air, but puts his leg up too high, causing him to fall over backwards.   
Clip#5: Merton, looking tired and sweaty, tries to kick Lori again and she kicked him in the stomach, causing him to finally pass out.   
Clip#6:   
Lori: Merton, let's try this move. It's called the high kick.{I don't know what it's really called, so I'm just sticking with that!} It's hard to do, but we can try it.   
She spun around and kicked into the air; so high that it went above her head. Merton tried it, but just hit a chair on the way and yelled out in pain. 

Scene: The Woods   
Tommy hears some rustling in the trees and looks around. He shrugs his shoulders and turns around, just about to leave. Before he can get all the way turned around, however, Cassandra flies up behind him. He turns back around.   
Tommy: Cassandra! I thought Merton staked you!   
Cassandra: Ah, yes, foolish Merton. He spared me, knowing you'd be too dim-witted to figure it out. Alas, even if you are stupid, I have a special task for you.   
She smiled and flew forward.   
Tommy: Oh, great, how come you villains always smile before you kill someone? Isn't that a bit over dramatic?   
Cassandra stopped, thinking about that.   
Cassandra: You're right, why do I smile? I mean, sure I have nice dental care, but there really was no need. How about I just get on with it?   
Tommy: Yeah, that's better.   
Cassandra flies into the air again. Suddenly, she wolfs out.   
Tommy: Whoa! I didn't know you were a werewolf!   
Cassandra: Oh, I've had some changes recently done.   
Tommy: All this time you were a cannon ball!   
Cassandra: A what?   
Tommy: Those thingies that eat their own kind!   
Cassandra: That's cannibal.   
Tommy: O-oh . . .   
Cassandra: Now, enough of this!   
She flew on top of him and bit his arm.   
Tommy: Ow!   
Cassandra: That's all you do?   
Tommy: What?   
Cassandra: No shriek of pain and agony? No cry for mercy? Just 'ow'?   
Tommy: Yeah . . .   
Cassandra: You're lucky I need you or I'd eat you now! Besides, I cannot eat my own kind and neither can you.   
Tommy: What do you mean? I never-   
He looked down at his arm where she bit him, the realization dawning.   
Tommy: Aw, man! This is not good . . . 

Scene: Pleasantville High   
Merton looks through his locker, pushing away some of the fake spider webs so he could see. Lori came up to him.   
Lori: Merton, have you seen Tommy?   
Merton: No, why?   
Lori: It's just that I haven't seen him and his parents were calling me to ask if he was with me.   
Merton: You know, it's funny, you always seem to ask if someone has seen someone else and they always seem to be held hostage by some evil foe . . .   
Lori: Merton, this isn't the time to be telling me what's repetitive here!   
Merton: Right, well I haven't seen him. I'm sure he's here though, otherwise Becky would be spreading it around the school.   
Suddenly, a couple of girls walk by and Merton hears what they're saying.   
Girl#1: Have you heard?   
Girl#2: About what?   
Girl#1: Tommy Dawkins was missing today!   
They leave.   
Merton: Okay, so maybe he _is _missing . . .   
Lori: Where would he go?   
Merton: I'm not sure.   
He looks into his locker and screams like a girl, backing up.   
Lori: Merton, remember, you put that fake zombie mask in there to keep people from taking your stuff.   
Merton: Uh, heh, heh, this isn't a zombie mask!   
He pointed into his locker and Lori looked in. In the mirror, there is letters written in blood: I'M BACK, MERTON. 

Scene: The Syndicate   
Cassandra walks into a room. Inside is a single coffin. She walks up to it and opens it, revealing Tommy, who is tied up inside.   
Cassandra: Don't worry, Merton will be here shortly and you will no longer suffer.   
Tommy: What do you plan on doing, anyway?   
Cassandra: I found a spell in which I can bring back the spirit of the person who turned me into a vampire. I just need a body to put it in and then I can slay them and be free of killing werewolves!   
Tommy: And now you're going to put the spirit in Merton and kill him!   
Cassandra: You aren't as dumb as you look.   
Suddenly, her face does that weird blood list{was it called blood list? I'm not sure . . .} thingy and she sighs.   
Cassandra: I'll have to get a new blood source.   
She took a needle out and pricked her finger, licking it greedily.   
Cassandra: I'll have to leave now. I don't want you trying to eat me when the blood list comes to you. I'll leave the lid open. The screaming makes such lovely music around here.   
She left.   
Tommy: Great . . . Wait! What did Merton say about some weird telepathic spell . . . ? 

Scene: Flashback   
Merton and Tommy are talking at the factory.   
Tommy: A tele what?   
Merton: Telepathic spell! I've been trying to master it, but it supposedly takes a lot of energy from the person using it. But it makes you able to talk to someone in their minds! 

Scene: The Syndicate   
Tommy: I can talk to Merton!   
He thought, trying to remember what you had to do for the spell.   
Merton's voice{Tommy remembering}: Just clear your mind except for one thing. Think about the person you want to talk to. Then see if it works!   
Tommy thought about Merton. Suddenly, he could hear Merton's thoughts.   
Merton's thoughts: Hm, I wonder if that girl over there would go out with me . . . Sure she has unnaturally large hips, but I have a better chance with her than Pamela Anderson . . .   
Tommy's Thoughts: Merton!   
Merton's thoughts: Tommy?! What the-?   
Tommy's thoughts: Merton, I used the telepathic spell! Cassandra's back and she's a werewolf!   
M.T.: What?!   
T.T.: I know! Listen, she bit me and took me to the Syndicate. She found a spell to bring back the spirit of the person who bit her, but don't-   
Suddenly, the spell ended and Tommy winced in pain. The blood list was happening.   
Tommy: Shoot! I hope Merton got the message . . . 

Scene: The Factory   
Merton ran up to Lori.   
Merton: Tommy's being held captive by Cassandra!   
Lori: I thought you staked her!   
Merton: Well, she was hot . . . But she's a werewolf now and she bit Tommy, making him a vampire too! He used the telepathic spell and told me not to-   
Lori: Not to what?   
Merton: I don't know, the spell stopped. I think he was telling us not to let Cassandra get away with this or something like that. We have to go to the Syndicate and save him!   
Lori: Come on! 

Scene: The Syndicate   
Merton and Lori walk in, careful not to make much noise.   
Lori{whispering}: Okay, we have to look in all the rooms. I'll check this hall *points to one hall* and you take the one beside it.   
She left to one hall.   
Merton: Great, we always have to split up in the face of danger . . .   
Suddenly, Cassandra flew behind him and grabbed him, covering his mouth. She slowly dragged him off, him struggling more than ever to no effect. 

Scene: The Room With Tommy In It   
Tommy watched as Cassandra walked in, holding a struggling Merton. She set him in a chair and tied him up.   
Merton: How could you do it? You were so nice to me before! We even dated!   
Cassandra: I was bitten by the Syndicate and I have to get rid of the vampire, else I'll eat myself. Your friend won't be so lucky. Now, I have to gather the things for the spell.   
She flew out.   
Tommy: Merton, why'd you come?!   
Merton: I came to get you back!   
Tommy: I told you not to!   
Merton: How was I supposed to know you were telling me not to? The spell ended . . .   
There was a moment of silence.   
Tommy: So what's going to happen to me?   
Merton: Well, unless Cassandra was staked, you'll probably eat yourself out of hunger.   
Tommy gulped.   
Tommy: I guess we're both going to . . . die.   
Merton: Why would I die? All she's doing is bringing a spirit here . . .   
Tommy: She's going to put the spirit in your body and kill you so she won't be a vampire!   
Merton's eyes went wide.   
Merton: We're going to die! We're going to die!   
Cassandra flew in, wolfed out and carrying herbs and many other various things for the spell. She set it all up and slowly started to speak.   
Merton: Uh, could I have one last request before being brutally slayed in the attempt to normal yourself?   
Cassandra{annoyed}: What?   
Merton: Um, could you tell my mom that I'll miss her, Becky that she can have my T.V., my dad that he can have-   
Cassandra: Shut up! I'm not writing your will, fool, I have much more important things to do!   
She closed her eyes and spoke again.   
Cassandra: Rulers of the underworld, hear my call! The one called Nexasior Conlando, sentenced to death in the Spanish Inquisition, send him forth to this boy's body! Send him to this earth! Send him here! To the body of Merton Dingle, of the town of Pleasantville, the one to die this very night! To be slain and send Nexasior to where he belongs, trapped in the dephths of the chambers in the underworld! To suffer far greater pains than I have! To spend an eternity in agony and cruel torture!   
There was a gust of wind and a bolt of lightening hit Merton. He yelled out as the electricity ran through him. Suddenly, the lightening stopped and Merton sat there in shock, his hair frizzled and his face black. Little sparks of electricity randomly flashed in his hair and he held onto the arms of the chair with all his might.   
Cassandra: Nexasior! It is time for you to be slain! Say your final words, lest you die in vain!   
Merton: Uh, Cass, I don't think the spell worked . . .   
He jumped a little as another spark of electricity came out of his hands.   
Cassandra: I don't understand, the spell should have sent Nexasior to your body!   
She looked at all the supplies on the ground around Merton.   
Cassandra: I have chickens blood, heart of a dragon, hair of a unicorn, tears of a giant . . . Wait! Where's the tail of a lion?   
Voice from behind: Looking for this?   
Cassandra spun around and Lori was standing in the doorway, holding a package with a rather gruesome item contained inside it which could only be the lions tail. Cassandra growled and charged at her. Lori ducked and ran to Merton's side, untying him.   
Merton: Look out!   
Cassandra came behind Lori and kicked her, sending her flying backwards and into the coffin with Tommy inside, the lid slamming shut and trapping her. Cassandra held the bag with the tail in it carefully, checking to make sure the whole thing was there. She turned to face Merton.   
Cassandra: Sit back in the chair. I promise I won't kill you as slow as I had planned.   
Merton: Uh, sounds tempting but . . .   
He tried running away, but Cassandra grabbed his arm and spun him around.   
Cassandra: Now, I guess I'll have to bite you . . .   
She bent her head towards his arm, but he pulled away.   
Merton: Oh, crud . . . 

Scene: Merton's Flashback   
Lori: It's called the high kick. It's hard to do, but we can try it. 

Scene: The Room Again   
Merton takes a deep breath.   
Merton: Well, here goes nothing!   
Cassandra flew forward and was an inch from his arm when he spun around and kicked her, sending her flying into the wall and knocking her unconscious. He stood there with his foot still in the air.   
Merton: I . . . I . . . I DID IT! Whoo-hoo!   
He put his foot down and threw a fist into the air, starting a voctory dance. He ran to the coffin and opened it, letting Lori out and untying Tommy.   
Lori: So how is Tommy supposed to be human again?   
Merton: Well, we have two choices: Slay Casandra or slay him.   
They stood in silence.   
Merton: You two go and I'll slay her. No tricks this time.   
Tommy: Merton, are you sure?   
Merton: We can't have you eating yourself, can we? Just go, you guys.   
Lori took one last look and left. Tommy faced Merton.   
Tommy: You don't have to do this, I can be a cannon ball.   
Merton: Cannibal, actually. Don't worry, I can cope with her being gone. After all, she _did _try sacrificing me . . .   
Tommy turned to leave. He turned back for one last look as he was at the door and saw Cassandra advancing on Merton from behind.   
Tommy: Merton, look out!   
He flew forward and pushed Merton out of the way, Cassandra's fangs missing his neck.   
Merton: Whoa!   
Tommy: Merton, get Lori and run! I'll take care of Cassandra!   
Merton: Here!   
He threw a stake at Tommy and he caught it in one paw.   
Merton: Be careful and aim for the heart!   
He turned and ran off. Cassandra flew forward and tried to punch Tommy, but he kicked her in the stomach and she flew backwards out the window, the glass shattering onto the stone floor. Tommy ran to the window and watched her fall. She made no attempt to fly back up. With a loud crack, she landed onto a pile of rocks and laid there unmoving. She was dead. 

Scene: Pleasantville High   
Merton walked up to his locker and saw Tommy at his own.   
Merton: Cassandra gone?   
Tommy: Huh? Oh, Cassandra, yeah . . .   
Merton looked into his locker and a pile of things fell on top of him. He got up and started to pick things up.   
Merton: Here, could you hold these?   
He handed him some school books, his coffin backpack, and a cross. When Tommy saw the cross, he dropped the things and backed away.   
Merton: Tommy? Are you okay, big guy? Oh, I know! It's that odd stench from my backpack! Sorry, I had to put some garlic in it; I have some suspicions about Macy Clensington . . .   
He picked up the things Tommy dropped and put them into his locker. Tommy stood there for a moment.   
Merton: Buddy, you sure you're okay?   
Tommy: Uh, yeah. I'm just not feeling too well. I think I'll go to the nurse's.   
He shut his locker and headed off down the hall. 

Scene: Cafeteria   
Lori sat down by Merton and leaned in.   
Lori: Was Cassandra staked?   
Merton: Yeah, Tommy told me this morning.   
Lori: Where is Tommy anyway?   
Merton: I went home sick, I guess. He said he wasn't feeling well . . .   
Lori: Doesn't that seem odd?   
Merton: What do you mean?   
Lori: Tommy's never sick!   
Merton: You're right. I'll go to his house and check on him. 

Scene: The Park   
Merton walked by the park, heading towards Tommy's house. The woods beside it were dark, even though it was noon. There was some rustling and some odd screeching sounds. Merton looked all around him, trying to decipher what the sounds were. Suddenly, Tommy came out. Merton, surprised at his sudden appearance, screamed and almost fell, but quickly regained his balance.   
Merton: Geez! Don't do that! Hey, I thought you were sick!   
Tommy: I heard something outside with my wolf senses and came to investigate. It ran away before I could see it and I followed it here. I really didn't want to go out though, the sun's too bright.   
Merton: Tommy, the sun's almost gone! Anyway, I just came to check on you; you know, just to make sure the Syndicate or someone hadn't been by recently.   
Tommy: Well, I'm fine. I'll just go back to my house now.   
He went into the road and was almost across it when a truck came by.   
Merton: Tommy, get out of the road!   
It was too late. Tommy looked at the truck and his eyes went wide, just as the Suburban sent him toppling over, going straight over him. 

Tommy was dead. 

TO BE CONTINUED 

A/N: Okay, just to prevent any flames on this chapter or the next, remember that I'm only twelve, just a beginning author and I don't know much about a large vocabulary or fancy plots. Just so you know that I'm getting tired of being told my humor is like a ten-year-olds; I'm only a few years older than that! So thanks for listening and please review! Bye!   
  
  
  
  
  



	2. Why Can't I Think Of Names?!

Why Can't I Think Of Names?! 

By: cbpatches2001 

A/N: I don't have much to say so . . . Enjoy! 

Scene: Street In Front Of Tommy's House   
Merton ran into the street and the Suburban stopped. The driver got out. It was a man, about in his forties. He was wearing a plain white shirt and blue jeans. His eyes went wide and he ran over to Tommy, making sure if he was alive or not. Merton was the first to get there, though, and he sat at Tommy's side.   
Merton: Tommy!   
Tommy opened his eyes halfway.   
Tommy: Merton?   
Merton: Tommy, don't worry, I'll call an ambulance and get some help!   
Tommy: Oh, that's good . . .   
He closed his eyes and his head tilted to the side.   
Merton: Tommy, wake up! Tommy!   
He shook him. There was no response. The man driving the truck ran up.   
Man: I'm so sorry! I didn't see 'em! I wasn't watching where I was going! Is he all right?   
Merton: No, he's dead. 

Scene: Graveyard   
Merton and Lori stood by a new grave, wondering what to do next.   
Merton: Well, on the bright side, we've all died at least once before and we always came back! It's the cliche of every movie or show for someone to appear dead!   
Lori: Merton, this isn't television! He's dead and buried!   
Merton: Well, he was buried when we met that one woman who killed someone and brought them back to life for slaves. He and Becky both lived from that . . .   
Suddenly, a hand came from the ground and grabbed Merton's ankle.   
Merton: See? What did I tell you? I said he'd be back and now he's . . .   
He trailed off, realization dawning.   
Merton: . . . GRABBING MY ANKLE FROM THE GRAVE!   
He pulled away and the hand let go.   
Lori: But how the heck did he live? That car flattened him like a pancake!   
Slowly, the hand came up and then Tommy was out all the way, standing in dirt covered clothes and looking pale in the darkness.   
Merton: Tommy, you're back!   
He smiled and threw his arms up, running over and hugging Tommy. Tommy just stood in silence. Merton let go and looked at him. Tommy looked at his hands and his eyes went wide.   
Tommy: Guys, I didn't survive getting hit by that car, did I?   
Lori: We thought you didn't, but you came up from the grave!   
Merton: We have to take you to the lair and examine you! This could make history! 

Scene: The Lair   
Merton is looking at Tommy and smiling.   
Tommy: Merton, do you really have to study me? I need to get to football practice.   
Merton: Um, as fun as that may sound to you, you're the recently deceased! I don't think zombies are welcome on the field!   
Tommy: Then what am I supposed to do? Hide all my life?   
Merton: Well, I don't know . . .   
Lori: Well, maybe there's something in Merton's books that explains why you're still alive.   
She went to a shelf and pushed some books aside, looking for one that seemed helpful. As she did that, a cross fell out and slid to Tommy's feet. He hissed and backed up.   
Merton: Tommy? Wait! You didn't kill Cassandra!   
He pointed at Tommy accusingly, stepping forward.   
Tommy: What so you mean?   
Merton: You're still a vampire! That's why you didn't die!   
Tommy: Merton, I saw her fall out a eight story window and land on a pile of sharp rocks!   
Merton: Okay, disgusting yet confusing at the same time . . .   
Lori: Then why would you be a vampire still? Unless some other vampire bit you . . .   
Tommy: Guys, so what if I'm a vampire? I can live with people thinking I'm dead!   
Merton: You could be a potential danger to all of us if you were set loose! We have to restrain you until we can figure this out.   
He went forward to tie Tommy up, but Tommy suddenly looked angry and flew up into the air.   
Tommy: Never, I shall not be restrained!   
He flew out the window and the glass shattered. 

Scene: The Woods   
Tommy flew through the woods, looking for victims. If he was going to be dead, he might as well have some fun . . . 

Scene: The Lair   
Merton and Lori sat there.   
Lori: Merton, we have to find Tommy before he hurts someone!   
Merton: Okay, two things: One, we have nothing to go by in the search for him! Two, he won't hurt someone unless they're a werewolf. Well, of course he _could _hurt someone without eating them . . .   
Lori: We have to find him!   
Suddenly, the television, which was conveniently on, changed from the Purina Dog Chow commercial to the news. Sally Dawkins came on.   
Sally: Well, it looks like the town of Pleasantville is at it again; this time the werewolf's gone and the vampire's in. Two local teenagers who call themselves "tnt" are here with what they saw.   
She held the mike out and tnt came forward out of the crowd. Tim grabbed the mike.   
Tim: We were by the factory, just minding our own business when this thing attacked us!   
Travis: It was like the wolf man, but he was flying! Like, a . . . a . . . thing!   
Sally smiled and yanked the mike from them, pushing them off screen and straightening her hair.   
Sally: Well, there you have it. Two innocent boys attacked by some creature. That only leaves us one question: Is the Pleasantville werewolf-vampire real or myth? This is Sally Dawkins, signing off.   
Merton turned the television off.   
Merton: Great! Now he's wreaking havoc on the town!   
There was a knock on the door and Becky came in. She was wearing a long black dress with a black cloak on over it.   
Merton: B-becky? Are you finally turning goth?   
He smiled.   
Merton: Is this finally a brother sister relationship I'm sensing?   
He threw out his arms and hugged Becky. Becky looked annoyed and pushed him. He flew back and hit the desk.   
Merton: Ow. Okay, maybe that _wasn't _a brother sister relationship . . .   
Becky: I have come for the one named Lori Baxter.   
Merton: Becky? You all right?   
Becky: Silence, mortal!   
She flung her hand out and Merton's mouth disappeared. His eyes went wide and he felt the place where his mouth should have been.   
Lori: How did you do that?!   
Becky: The master taught us spells, though none as great as the spells he can do.   
Lori: The master?   
Becky: Yes, the one you call Tommy Dawkins.   
Lori: He bit you!   
She went into a fighting position.   
Becky: The master sent for you specifically. He will not let you leave this building unless in our hands.   
Lori: Our?   
Suddenly, about three more vampires appeared out of nowhere. They all bared their fangs. Lori gasped as she saw a boy there with red hair and blue eyes.   
Lori: Joe?   
{for all you out there who need some explaining, Joe is Lori's brother. I just invented him off the spot in this fic, so none of you should have heard of him until now.}   
Lori: Now Tommy's gone too far!   
She kicked one of them and the fight began. Merton crawled under the desk and listened. He couldn't see what was happening, but he could hear. There was a crack and some screams and all went quiet. He crawled out, hoping to find Lori. He saw Lori there, standing alone. Merton pointed to his mouth, indicating that he couldn't speak while it was gone. Lori waved her hand and his mouth appeared.   
Merton: Whoa! You found a spell to make my mouth back!   
Lori: It was a simple spell. Now, I must go for the master is waiting.   
Merton: You're a vampire!   
Lori: No kidding, Sherlock!   
She kicked him in the stomach and he went flying back into the desk. She picked him up by the collar of his shirt and faced him.   
Lori: I bet the master would be pleased if I brought him the one man who could stop his reign. You're the only mortal who knows who he really is. You chose he wrong time to listen.   
Merton laughed nervously.   
Merton: So escaping peacefully, changing my name, and moving to California is out?   
Lori didn't reply and bit his neck. His eyes went wide and he fainted. 

Scene: An Old Warehouse   
Tommy sat there, waiting for the others to arrive. Becky came in, followed by the other vampires. They left into another room. Then came Lori, holding Merton, who was still out cold.   
Tommy: Good, you were bitten. Now you can serve as my queen and we will rule the slaves under my spell! I see you already made a new vampire. That one will be useless for fighting, but we can use him to clean or something like that.   
Lori: Actually, he may be stronger than you think. I bit him well over an hour ago and he still has not shown signs of transforming. He's fighting the urge to be the undead.   
Tommy: Well, we can't feast on him for he's not a lycanthrope. The blood would taste horrible. Tie him up in another room and I'll be in when he wakes up. He has lots of knowlege of the paranormal.   
Lori nodded and dragged Merton off. Becky flew in.   
Becky: Master, the werewolves escaped.   
Tommy: What? I told you to kill a werewolf and bring it here and you say they escaped?! Which vampire was on the hunt?!   
Becky: It was the one called Malcolm Stern.   
Tommy: Yes, he was the new vampire we bit in Bakersville. Send him in!   
Becky flew off into another room. A few seconds later, a vampire came in. He had black hair, brown eyes, and was wearing all black like the rest of the vampires.   
Malcolm: You called, master?   
Tommy: Yes. Come here.   
Malcolm walked forward.   
Tommy: Closer.   
He walked so close that he was beside Tommy. Tommy took out a stake and stabbed it into his heart. He disappeared.   
Tommy: Cassandra!   
Cassandra flew in, still alive.   
Cassandra: Yes, master?   
Tommy: Find out which vampires Stern created and bite them again. Their creator has been slain. Also send the other vampires to the town again to hunt the werewolves.   
Cassandra nodded and left. 

Scene: A Room In The Warehouse   
Merton sat in there, wondering what to do.   
Merton: Okay, I was bitten, but not turned evil or transformed at any rate, tied up, and brought to a warehouse full of evil vampires in which their leader is a werewolf who happens to be my best friend who took Lori as a hostage and bit her and now I'm the only one who isn't a vampire.   
He paused.   
Merton: What am I saying?! I'm talking to myself in run-on sentences!   
He sighed.   
Merton: Well, at least a wasn't killed. Though it's likely that I'll be destroyed because I'm a vampire now and there's no werewolves here but Tommy . . .   
He sat there in silence for a moment.   
Merton: I'm going to die!   
He laughed nervously. 

TO BE CONTINUED 

A/N: Tell me what you think! Also, I won't post the next chapter if I don't get at least one review! Thanks! Bye!   



	3. Escape?

Escape? 

By: cbpatches2001 

A/N: Okay, thank you so much for that nice review! *cough cough katgurl600 cough cough* Anyway, here it is, the next chapter, and possibly the final, depending on my mood{sorry, I tend to improvise my stories when I write them and I don't know how long I'll make them or what I'll do . . .}. Oooookay, now enjoy what you came here for and stop reading the author's note! 

Scene: Room In Warehouse   
The door opened and Merton stood up. Tommy flew in and some other vampires closed the doors.   
Tommy: Merton Dingle, I presume?   
Merton: Tommy, how could you?!   
Tommy: It was easy. Find some foolish girl like your sister, put her under my spell, bite her. She didn't even scream. She bit someone, they bit another, and it went on like that. Now all they have to do is find werewolves from the Syndicate and we will feast.   
Merton: You're becoming a cannibal! Darn, if only it had said something in the Hannibal movies about tricking cannibals . . .   
Tommy: Your mouth gets you into trouble, I wouldn't open it unless told to. What I'm curious to know, is why you haven't transformed into a vampire after all this time being bitten. Is it simply because my queen is weak? Or do you have a trick up your sleeve?   
Merton: Um, hate to ask dumb questions but, why are you asking me?   
Tommy: You know something that I don't. What are you hiding?   
Merton: What do you mean? The only things that I know about is how many women have rejected me in the last week! I can't possibly be hiding anything!   
Tommy: I found this, and it's never wrong.   
He held up a leather bound book.   
Tommy: Only one page has writing on it.   
He opened it up and read.   
Tommy: Only one shall be able to read this. They would have been a vampire once, a creature of the night, but to have slain the one that bit them. They will never be able to be the undead again, even if their blood is drained. It is because of this, he may read it, for only something pure of heart can open their eyes.   
He looked up.   
Tommy: Cassandra's sister bit you and you slayed her. You are no longer the undead. You aren't transforming after being bitten. It all adds up and only you can read this. It holds the secrets of the future and will tell how to find power. I want you to read this to me and to tell me how to rule the world and become strong!   
He shoved the book into Merton's hands. Merton stared at the cover. There was no title.   
Tommy: Read it!   
Merton gulped and opened it. At first, there wasn't anything on the pages, but in a second some writing started appearing.   
Writing: Are you Merton Dingle?   
The writing disappeared. Merton's mouth went wide.   
Merton: Y-yes . . .   
Writing: I know what you want most. You want to escape and turn your friends back to normal.   
Merton: H-how did-?   
Writing: Do not speak. The werewolf is listening. I can read your mind and see your thoughts. Turn the page and look.   
Merton turned the page and there was writing on it. It said:   
_Turn time to terrible times_   
_Catch Cassandra's caper_   
_Prevent pasts_   
_slay the slayer_   
Merton: This is a time travelling spell! I can go back in time and stop Cassandra from being bitten by the Syndicate!   
Tommy: What?   
Merton: Turn time to terrible times, catch Cassandra's caper, prevent pasts, slay the slayer!   
There was a rush of wind and Merton disappeared. 

Scene: The Syndicate, the night Cassandra first came   
Merton appeared in the air again and landed with a thud. Cassandra and Rufus were standing there and looked with utter confusion.   
Cassandra: Merton, you followed me!   
She smiled and hugged him. Suddenly,{I'm just sticking with the name Morticus for the bald dude because I still don't know his name!} Morticus jumped out. He lunged at Cassandra and was about to bite her when Merton kicked him in the stomach.   
Merton: Cassandra, hate to run, but I just stopped you from turning into a werewolf and killing my friends!   
He smiled.   
Merton: Crud. One slight problem. I don't know how to go back to my time!   
Cassandra: Merton, I'm a little confused . . .   
Merton: No time to explain! I've got to go!   
He ran out. 

Scene: The Park, still in the past   
Tommy and Lori walked down the sidewalk and talked.   
Lori: I feel bad about Cassandra getting staked. I mean, Merton cared about her a lot.   
Tommy: Well, she was evil so we had to.   
Lori: It was good in the times when we had someone to be close to.   
Tommy: Yeah.   
They stopped and looked at each other. Slowly, they started to get closer. They were almost about to kiss when Merton ran out.   
Merton: Guys!   
They quickly pulled away.   
Tommy{annoyed}: Mertonh, don't you have something you're late for?   
Merton: No, I-   
Suddenly, Lori grabbed his throat and pushed him against a tree.   
Lori: Hey, you're not Merton! He said he had to do The Goth Beat tonight at the school!   
Merton: Lori, I'm the Merton from the future!   
Tommy: What?   
Lori let Merton go.   
Merton: In the future, Cassandra was bitten by the Syndicate and she bit you two and you were trying to kill me! But I went back and stopped her from being bitten and I don't know how to get back. I could ask this book . . .   
He held up the leather bound book, which he still had with him.   
Tommy: You said you staked Cassandra!   
Merton: Uh, I guess I didn't . . . But that's not the point! The point is, I need you two to help me figure out how to get back to my own time!   
Lori: Why don't you just try the time-travelling spell again?   
Merton: Well, I could, but who knows where I'd be sent!   
Tommy: Just change the words around a little so that the spell sends you to the right time.   
Merton: Actually, that's not a bad idea . . .   
He cleared his throat.   
Merton:   
_Send savers south_   
_make me move_   
_back to before_   
_forward to the future!___

There was a flash of light and all three of them disappeared. 

Scene: A Grassy Jungle   
The three appeared in the air and landed with a thud{they do seem to land with thuds a lot, don't they?}. They looked around.   
Lori: I didn't realize the fufutre was so . . . primitive.   
Merton: This isn't my time! I must have gone to the past . . . Wait! How come you came with me?   
Lori: Maybe since you changed the spell around, you transported us with you!\   
Merton: Yeah!   
Tommy: Guys?   
Lori: Yeah?   
Tommy: What's that sound?   
They looked around. Suddenly, the ground shook. Merton fell over from the force. There was a roaring sounds and a giant dinosaur appeared. It had three great horns and maroon scales{well, sort of maroon with muddy color too}.   
Merton: It's a triceratops!   
There was another roar and a giant lizard like dinosaur came out.   
Merton: And that would be the tyrannosaurus rex!   
Tommy: Wait, did we face dinosaurs before?   
Merton: Yeah, and we've all died before too like in the beginning of the fic.   
Lori: Maybe this show gets a little repetative . . .   
Merton: Uh, hate to interrupt our trail pf thought here but . . . RUN!   
They looked up and the T-rex was chasing the triceratops right towards them. Of course, they ran like high Heaven. 

TO BE CONTINUED{I know, I lied in the author's note!} 

A/N: Okay, so maybe I _will _have more chapters . . . Anyway, let me know if I should continue this! Thanks! Bye!   



	4. Too Repetitive, Isn't It?

Too Repetitive, Isn't It? 

By: cbpatches2001 

A/N: I'd like to thank Mistoffelees for pointing out that I misspelled victory, and it was blood lust and not blood list. Also, I'd like to announce that I have removed "Big Wolf On Campus The Musical" from fanfiction.net, which will make you very happy. I'm sorry for everyone I offended with it and I will no longer write fiction making fun of others writing, for mine is no better. I will, however, take into consideration of writing a fic making fun of my own writing, seeing as my writing is not what I'd call "perfect". Also, I've added a tad more to my bio in hopes that you will understand me more and NOT do a few things in your reviews{What things, you say? Read the bio and you'll figure out what peeves me off!}! Okay, this is the long awaited fourth chapter! Well, maybe not _long _awaited . . . But I digress. Okay, please please please **review**! I want to know what you think! Thanks to all the support of katgurl600 and Mistoffelees with their reviews in most of my fics! {Hint hint: Maybe you could do the same in reviewing them all!} Anyway, here goes the fourth chapter! 

Scene: The Jungle   
They ran as fast as they could, which is pretty fast.   
Tommy: Don't look back and keep running!   
Merton, even after being told not to look back, looked backwards.   
Merton: Ah!   
He started to run faster, if that was even possible. They quickly jumped to the side and landed on the ground in some trees to the right. The two dinosaurs passed and the shaking of the ground slowed. The three of them sat there on the ground, catching their breath.   
Tommy: So uh, *pant* Merton?   
Merton: *pant* Yeah?   
Tommy: *pant* How do we go back *pant* to our own time?   
Merton: *pant* Good question . . .   
Lori slapped Merton over the head.   
Merton: Ow! What was that for?!   
Lori: You don't know how to get us back?!   
Merton: I told you I didn't know when I asked you to help me figure it out!   
Tommy: Great, so what are we going to do now?   
Merton: I propose that was find some shelter and ask the book.   
He held up the book, which he still hadn't let out of his sight.   
Lori: Wait, what do you mean ask the book?   
Merton: Well, it can sort of read minds and gave me the spell to use . . . This is just like the spectacular book, Harry Potter And The Chamber Of Secrets, written by J. K. Rowling shortly after the hit book, Harry Potter And The Sorcerer's Stone!   
Lori: What happened?   
Merton: Well, I think everyone agrees that when it went on to The Prisoner Of Azkaban it should have included more Voldemort, yet it still taught us a lot about Harry's past-   
Tommy/Lori: What happened in the book?!   
Merton: Oh right, well a girl, Ginny Weasley, found a strange diary in the bathrooms and wrote in it. She soon discovered that it wrote back and that Voldemort had written it in his past to hold his memories and past self. Though most of the book was involved with a basilisk and not too much was said about the diary, it still held most of the plot.   
Tommy: Merton, I don't think that helps in getting us back.   
Merton: Well, let me just ask the book about getting us back.   
He opened it up.   
Merton: Um, book? We need your help.   
Writing: You mustn't overuse the book for your problems.   
Merton: Come on! We need to get back to our time!   
Writing: If you overuse the book, horrible things will happen.   
Merton: Just help us!   
Writing: You have been warned.   
Suddenly, the sky turned black and lightening started to strike. Rain came pouring down.   
Lori: Merton, what did you do?!   
Merton: I might have angered the book slightly . . .   
Another bolt of lightening struck and it hit a tree, sending the branch crumbling down. Unfortunately, it fell on top of Merton.   
Lori: Merton!   
Another bolt struck and it hit Merton himself. After that ended, the skies turned clear and the rain stopped. Lori and Tommy ran over to Merton.   
Merton: Ever think I get electrocuted too much?   
He laughed nervously and fainted. Tommy, still wolfed out, grabbed the branch and pulled it off of Merton. 

Scene: A Cave   
The three sat in the cave, wondering, as they tend to do a lot. Merton has his legs propped up on a rock.   
Merton: Okay, we're trapped in the time of the dinosaurs, I have no idea how to get us back, and I'm practically paralyzed from the waist down!   
Lori: Tell us something we don't know.   
Tommy: Well, can't we just use the time travelling spell that took us to the seventeen hundreds? It can go to the future too, seeing as I ended up there.   
Merton: Normally, another spell would be a fine idea, but seeing as we had very little control of where we ended up the last time, it would be too risky to try it again. Plus, if I sent you two back to your time, I wouldn't be able to get back to my own without somebody elses help.   
They sat in silence, apparently at a loss of ideas.   
Merton: Well, we have a least a millenium to think of a way back.   
Lori: Seeing as we don't die before that. Whether we die from old age or those dinosaurs.   
Merton: Actually, I've been working on a "theory"{He does hand quotes on theory}: Seeing as we aren't born for another couple million years, there might be the possibility we will never age until the time we left!   
Tommy: So you're saying we'll never die until the year 2001?   
Merton: Well, not necessarily. We won't age, but that doesn't stop us from being eaten or brutally murdered by locals. We can die, just never age, at least if my theory's correct.   
Lori: Great, so we have to survive for another two million years to get back to our own time?   
Merton: Unless you have any better ideas.   
Tommy: You wouldn't know how we can get some food here, would you?   
It seemed they all looked hungry.   
Merton: Well, if the boy scouts have taught me nothing about surviving in the wilderness, then my name isn't Merton J. Dingle!   
Tommy: Dude, you were in the boy scouts?   
Merton: Well, in my parents attempt to make me normal and gain a social status, they forced me to join it . . .   
Lori: Well, tell us where to get some food and we'll go get it.   
Merton: All right, you have to find some sort of edible substance in the wood, preferably some sort of plant, but not mushrooms, seeing as they're sometimes poisonous. Also, if you find the plant called a "crepticous", it has a very zingy taste in the leaves. It has triangular shaped leaves and a purple stem. Also-   
Tommy: Merton!   
Merton: Yeah?   
Lori: We can't remember all that!   
Merton: Not to fear, young grasshoppers,*camera zooms in on his face for dramatic effect* I have the perfect plan.   
He smiles and a gong sounds for special effects. 

Scene: The Jungle   
Lori and Tommy trudge along in there, carrying Merton on eight or nine branches tied together with vines. Merton is thoroughly enjoying himself by the looks of it, while Tommy and Lori are sweating and looking very tired.   
Tommy: This was your big plan?   
Merton: Pretty much.   
Lori: Merton, just because you can't use your legs, doesn't mean we have to carry you all around the jungle! Couldn't have you just written down what to look for?   
Merton: Do you know where any paper is?   
They plainly couldn't answer that and continued to walk.   
Merton: Hm . . . Wait! Stop here!   
They set him down and sat on some rocks, catching their breath. Merton pulled up a plant and broke off the roots. He brushed the dirt off the roots and started to lick them.   
Tommy: Aw, gross! Dude, that's disgusting!   
Merton: It's an edible substance that we can eat!   
Lori: Merton, I'm _not _eating that stuff for the next two million years!   
Merton: Well, as time goes on, other plants will have came to existence. Plus, this isn't the only edible thing out here. Almost everything here is edible!   
Tommy: As long as we're not eating roots.   
Merton: Well, I have tons of other things to get to eat! 

Scene: The Cave   
There is a fire crackling merrily. Merton is chewing on a plant and Tommy and Lori are looking at some leaves with disgust.   
Tommy: Guys, I'm going to be right back.   
He wolfed out again and started to step out.   
Merton: Where are you going?   
Tommy: I'm getting some _real _food.   
He left. 

Scene: The Jungle   
Tommy v.o.: Now, don't get me wrong, I could survive eating all those plants Merton got- if I wasn't   
a werewolf. Face it, if you had been part wolf once a month for a year, you'd hate eating plants too.   
He stops and smells the air. Turning around, he grabs a branch of a tree and starts to climb it. 

Scene: The Cave   
Merton was still chewing on the plant. Lori started to pick up the plant she had when Tommy came in. He held up three dead birds.   
Tommy: Anyone for KFC?   
Lori: Awesome!   
She threw the plants to the side and got up. They both sat down and took the feathers off the birds, putting them over the fire on some branches to roast.   
Merton: Tommy, you killed birds? Do you have any idea how grotesque that is?!   
Lori: Once they're cooked, they won't seem so disgusting.   
Merton: There's no way that I'm eating some mutilated animal!   
Tommy: Fine, suit yourself.   
HALF AN HOUR LATER   
Lori and Tommy sank their teeth into the birds and began to eat. Merton chewed on the plant, looking at the birds. He looked down at the plants he had, which were dirt covered and very bitter tasting. At last, he threw the plants to the side and grabbed one of the birds. 

TO BE CONTINUED 

A/N: **PLEASE PLEASE PLEASE REVIEW!!!!!!**   
  
  
  
  



	5. Okay, So Where Is This Fic Going?

Okay, So Where Is This Fic Going? 

By: cbpatches2001 

A/N: I already have many, many more ideas for this fic planted in my twisted mind! Muahahahahaha!   
*cough* Okay, this fic includes almost everything in it: Vampires, dinosaurs, magic books, Merton getting electrocuted, and maybe a little more than that in this chapter! I hope you like! *singing to the tune "This Is A Song That Never Ends"* This is a fic that never ends, yes it goes on and on my friends, some people started reading without knowing what this was, I'm gonna keep on writing it just because, this is a fic that never ends . . . 

Scene: The Cave, night   
The three of them, with their stomachs full and hopes high, were asleep on the floor, despite the cold and uncomfortable ground for a bed. Suddenly, a bright white light glowed at the front of the cave. It was light in the shape of a human, but we can't see anything but a shape. It walked forward, though it looked more like it was floating, and waved its hand over the fire, putting it out and sending everything dark but the light around it. It floated to Merton and waved its hand over his face. He stirred a little, but quickly settled down again. Slowly, his body floated in the air and floated out the cave. The light waved its hand again and Lori and Tommy floated out too. The light left and the cave was dark and empty once more. 

Scene: Hole With Wooden Walls   
Merton was laying on top of some leaves and sleeping. He woke up and his eyes went wide. He was in a room with wooden walls, giant leaves on the floor, and a huge hole in the front with two leaves in front of it. He leaned over and looked out the hole. The ground was so far below him, it would take five minutes for a stone to hit the ground from the hole. Merton looked around some more and realized he was in the hollow of a tree.   
Merton: I'm-I'm three inches tall!   
His cry echoed all around the jungle, sending some birds flying off annoyed. He quickly went back in and leaned against the wall.   
Merton: Okay, Merton, get a grip on yourself. Trace your steps. I came here with Tommy and Lori from the past, I was paralyzed from the waist down, I fell asleep, then . . . ended up here. I need to figure out my unusual size too. For some reason I'm- Ah!   
He yelled out, seeing a figure moving towards him. It was a light in the shape of a human. The light disappeared and there was a woman floating in midair. She had red hair with yellow streaks in it, red eyes, all red shirt and pants, and there was a beautiful pair of golden wings errupting from her back.{Please note that all the fairies I used in this fic are used by the examples of uber fairies at neopets.com, so if you go there and look at the uber fairies, you'll have a better idea of what they look like.} Merton stared at her in awe, gaping.   
Merton: Whoa.   
Fairy: I am the Fire Fairy. May I ask your name?   
Merton: Uh, Martin, uh, I mean, Merton! Yeah, Merton J. Dingle at your service!   
Fire{fire fairy}: Well, Merton J. Dingle, I'm sure you know why you're here.   
Merton: Actually, no.   
Fire: I have brought you here to give you a quest.   
Merton: Excuse me? Quest?   
Fire: If a fairy here finds a human worthy enough, they will give them a quest and reward them if they complete it.   
Merton: Wow! All this time, fairies had existed since time began!   
Fire: Do you accept your quest?   
Merton: Uh, I'm a little rusty on this whole quest thing. Could you brief me on what it is?   
Fire: The Dark Fairy has stolen the Rod Of Power and she will use it to destroy the earth. You must find it and bring it back to the fairies here.   
Merton: Uh, so I can't take a rain check on this?   
Fire: We will give you any reward you wish.   
The camera zoomed in on Merton, a light bulb appearing over his head and lighting up.   
Merton: Could you get me and my friends back to our times?   
Fire: Yes. The other fairies will ask your friends if they accept the mission. If you all complete it, we will send you to your rightful times.   
Merton: Um, if I can ask, where _is_ Lori and Tommy?   
Fire: We put your friends in other parts of the tree. That way a different fairy can take care of you.   
Merton: Well, so we're supposed to find the Rod Of Power from the Dark Fairy?   
The Fire Fairy nodded.   
Merton: Who's the Dark Fairy and what's the Rod Of Power?   
Fire: The Dark Fairy is the most evil of all fairies and takes foolish humans as slaves if they cannot complete a task she gives them. The Rod Of Power is a rod which can control anything the beholder wishes it to. It holds many other secrets which we don't know of.   
Merton: Okay, so I'm guessing we'll have to go through a perilous journey in which we may die or have further injuries?   
Fire: I'm afraid so. She lives in the far caves on the other side of this jungle; near the sea. Not even the Water Fairy can stop her. However, us fairies will not let you go unprepared.   
Her hand started to glow bright white. She waved it in front of Merton face. After that, she put it to her side and it turned back to normal.   
Fire: I have given you the gift of fire, so you may be warm and be able to defend yourself when needed.   
Merton held one of his hands up and it glowed white, a flame appearing on it. He could feel the heat on his palm, but it was only a tickling sensation{Think Harry Potter floo powder}. He smiled.   
Fire: By now I'm sure the other fairies have explained to your friends the journey you will be taking if they choose to accept it.   
Merton: So, who exactly are these other "fairies"?   
He did hand quotes on "fairies".   
Fire: There are two other fairies in this tree, though more are around the jungle.   
She held her hand up and it glowed white again. A flame errupted from it and floated out the hole of the tree. A few seconds later, two fairies flew in carrying Tommy and Lori. The first fairy, who was carrying Tommy, had on a long green dress, had scraggly brown hair, and had a pair of golden wings too. The second fairy, holding Lori, had on a long white dress that covered her feet, long golden hair, and bright white wings. They landed and set the other two down.   
Fire: Merton, this is the Earth Fairy*she points to the one with the scraggly brown hair* and this is the Light Fairy*points to the one with golden hair*. You have told them of the journey, correct?   
The other fairies nodded.   
Light: They have accepted the quest.   
Earth: Have you given your one the gift?   
Fire: Yes.   
Earth: Then we shall give ours.   
The Earth Fairy turned to Tommy.   
Earth: I give you the gift of earth.   
Her hand glowed white and she waved it in front of Tommy's face.   
Earth: Now you will open your ears to nature and hear what it has to say.   
The Light Fairy turned to Lori.   
Light: I give you the gift of light, so that you may light the way if ever darkness takes over.   
Her hand glowed white and she waved it in front of Lori's face.   
Light: What you three must do before embarking on the journey, is to first travel to the ponds of light. When you reach it, find the Water Fairy and tell her the Light, Fire, and Earth Fairies have sent you. She will heal you all to full strength.   
Tommy: How do we find these ponds of light or whatever?   
Earth: The Light Fairy will guide you.   
The Light Fairy flew forward. 

Scene: A Rainbow Colored Pond   
The four walked to the edge of the pond, Merton floating in midair, courtesy of the Light Fairy.   
Light: Water Fairy, it is I, the Light Fairy. I have four humans who are embarking on the quest and we need of your healing service.   
Suddenly, a woman appeared in the air over the water. She had bright blue eyes, wavy blonde hair with a blue shell in it, and a long blue fish tail. She had no wings though, such as the other fairies.   
Water: Light Fairy, I shall heal all three of them to full strength. Are they truly going to take the Rod Of Power from the Dark Fairy?   
Light: Yes, they agreed to it. They are from future times and they have dealt with magical beings before.   
Lori: Hey, how did you know-   
Light: Fairies can see many things humans can't.   
She eyed Tommy a moment and turned back to the Water Fairy. Tommy leaned closer to Merton.   
Tommy{whispering}: Merton, you don't think she knows about- you know?   
Merton{whispering}: I have no idea.   
Light: Here is where I leave you. Good luck on your journey.   
She disappeared in a flash of light. The Water Fairy floated over to them and she held out her hand. It glowed white, just as the other fairies had done, and she waved it in the air. All four of them glowed white for a second, then it faded away.   
Water: Now you all are as strong as you were before coming to our time.   
Merton stood up.   
Merton: Yes! I can walk! *voice like those reverend guys on television* I have been healed!   
Water: Now, you must travel to the end of this jungle, to the caves by the sea. There you will find the Dark Fairy and hopefully our gifts will help you in retrieving the Rod Of Power. After bringing it back to us, we will send you back to your times.   
The others smiled.   
Tommy: So, I guess we're going.   
Water: Yes.   
Lori: Bye!   
Merton: Bye! Thank you!   
So they all headed off towards the ends of the jungle, where they would find the Rod Of Power. 

TO BE CONTINUED 

A/N: Okay, I have no idea how this fic went to vampires, werewolves, magic books, dinosaurs, and fairies, but I'm enjoying writing this! Anyway, please review and tell me what you think of this fic! I won't post the next chapter until I get another review! Thanks! See you in the next chapter! 

I look into his eyes   
He stares at me back   
I say, "Hi"   
I feel my knees buckle   
I tremble in anticipation   
He looks at me and says   
"Can I take your order?"   
I order my meal and leave the Burger King.   
~cbpatches2001   
  



	6. Dark Fairies, Magical Rods, And Merton, ...

Dark Fairies, Magical Rods, And Merton, Oh My! 

By: cbpatches2001 

A/N: Hm . . . what can I say? Enjoy? Yeah! Enjoy! ~Goes to the library and checks out the book, "How To Begin Author's Notes", by Catherine Schwartz."~ 

Scene: Jungle   
The three walked through the woods in silence for a bit. But of course, in order to not make this fic boring by saying 'they took one step, two steps, three steps! Three steps! Muahaha!', they started talking.   
Merton: Well, that was certainly strange.   
Lori: What?   
Merton: For some reason the author started saying something like the count on Sesame Street.   
Tommy: Well, _that _is strange.   
Lori: So, Merton, what do we face in the future after Cassandra was sent to the Syndicate?   
Merton: Well, if I told you that, then our past could be alternated completely and then our lives would be changed forever!   
Tommy: Huh?   
Merton: Or you would just have a heads up on what we fought against and make our lives better or not changed at all . . . But we shouldn't take the risk!   
Tommy: Point taken.   
Lori: Hey, isn't that the cave we're looking for?   
Merton and Tommy looked at where Lori was pointing. There was a giant sea and a cave beside it.   
Merton: Unless this place has lots of caves conveniently placed by a sea.   
Lori: Then let's go kick some Dark Fairy butt and get the Rod Of Power!   
Merton: As tempting at the *hand quotes* "run in without a plan" approach sounds, we have no idea what kind of black magic this Dark Fairy person has! We have to go in stealthily and try our best not to meet up with the Dark Fairy . . . Guys?   
He looked around and Tommy and Lori were already walking towards the cave.   
Merton: Hey, wait up!   
He ran towards them. 

Scene: Cave   
They walked in and looked around. There was a moment of silence as they looked for the Rod Of Power. Suddenly, there was a flash of purple light and a fairy appeared holding a golden rod. She had dark purple hair, black wings, and was wearing black clothes{once again, you'll get a better description on neopets.com!}. She held out the rod and it started to spark, causing the trio to back up.   
Merton: Uh, I don't suppose you'd let us go free and forget we ever came, would you?   
Dark: Of course.   
Merton{perking up}: Really?   
Dark: No.   
Merton: Oh, right, the whole *hand quotes* "kill the good guys" thing . . .   
Dark: I could kill you three now. But since I'm feeling generous today, I'll give you a quest. If you beat it, I'll give you any reward you want.   
Tommy: And you'll give us the Rod Of Power?   
Dark: Fine.   
Merton: That was actually kind of easy.   
Dark: No one has ever beaten my quest.   
Merton: Well, that sure explains a lot . . .   
The Dark Fairy held up a book with a purple cover, the ends of the pages painted gold.   
Dark: This is a book of fairytales{Sorry, I've been watching too much Shrek!}. Do you accept the quest?   
Tommy: We don't really have a choice, do we?   
The Dark Fairy smiled and waved her hand in the air. I bolt of lightening hit the ground right beside Tommy's feet.   
Tommy: I guess not.   
Lori: What's the quest?   
Dark: To beat the book.   
Merton: What?   
Dark: Good luck on your quest. You'll need it.   
Suddenly, a trapdoor opened underneath them and they fell down.   
Merton{as he falls}: Darn you, gravity! 

Scene: A Woods   
Merton appeared in the air and fell to the ground.   
Merton: You know, I'm getting a bit tired of this whole falling out of the air thing!   
He got up and realized he was in a suit of armor.   
Merton: Huh?   
He took the helmet off, making him look very strange in the outfit. There was a flash of light and Tommy appeared, falling on top of Merton. He got up and looked at himself. His ears were pointy, but he wasn't wolfed out. He was wearing a green outfit and had a bow and arrows in a pack on his back. {hey, that rhymes!} {also, if you can't get a descriptive enough picture of him, just think of him dressed like Link, pointy ears and all.}   
Tommy: We were sent into a fairytale!   
Merton: Oh, I'm so glad we know where we are, that helps us a lot!   
Tommy started to laugh, looking at Merton in the armor.   
Merton: Hey, I wouldn't be talking, elf boy!   
Tommy ignored him.   
Tommy: So where's Lori?   
Merton: Tommy, every fairytale begins with a knight, a mighty steed or partner, and then a damsel in a castle guarded by a dragon!   
Tommy: Your point is . . .   
Merton: I'm the knight, hence the armor, you're the partner, hence the elf-like appearance, and Lori's the damsel in distress!   
Tommy: We have to rescue Lori and that's how we beat the quest! But where do we look for her?   
Merton: Hm, I don't know, why don't we try that castle over there?   
He pointed to a castle outside the woods which had flames errupting from it.   
Tommy: Oh, right, the whole dragon thing . . . 

Scene: Castle   
The two of them walked in, looking around. Suddenly, there was a roar and a purple dragon{BTW, the dragon is in NO relation to Barney, I just like the color purple!} came flying out.   
Both: Oh crud.   
They dived to the ground as the dragon shot flames at them. Merton noticed a broken piece of wood on the ground beside him. He got up and held it in the air.   
Merton: Here, boy! Come on and get it!   
The dragon wagged its tail and sat on two legs, looking like a huge dog.   
Merton: Go fetch it, boy!   
He threw it out the window and the dragon flew out after it. Tommy got up behind Merton.   
Tommy: _That_ was strange.   
Merton: No time for irrelevant comments now! Let's go into that room and see if Lori's there.   
He pointed to a door and they went in. 

Scene: Room   
As soon as they went in, two men lept forward. Tommy shot an arrow out and one guy went down. After shooting another, the other one went down and they both disappeared.   
Merton: How'd you know how to use a bow?   
Tommy: I have no idea.   
Merton: There's Lori!   
He pointed to a bed, where Lori was laying.   
Merton: It's the tradition of every fairytale for the knight to kiss the princess.   
He smiled and walked towards Lori. He bent over and was about to kiss her when she woke up and punched him in the stomach. He doubled over in pain.   
Lori: Don't even think about kissing me!   
She got up and walked over to Tommy.   
Lori: Let's get out of here! 

Scene: Outside Of Castle   
The three walked out. Suddenly, Merton disappeared.   
Lori: Merton!   
She disappeared too. Tommy did the same. 

Scene: Dark Fairy's Cave   
They all appeared beside the Dark Fairy.   
Lori: We completed the quest!   
Dark: Impossible! No one has ever beaten my quest!   
Tommy: A deal is a deal, Dark Fairy. Hand over the Rod Of Power.   
The Dark Fairy looked really mad, but fairies are true to their word, dark or not, so she handed over the golden rod.   
Dark: Now go so you can start gloating to those other fairies.   
They all smiled and left. 

Scene: Tree   
The trio handed the Rod Of Power to the Earth Fairy.   
Light: Thank you for returning this to us.   
Fire: We will now send you back to your rightful times. But before we do that, Merton must take what is his.   
She handed the book to him.   
Merton: I'd almost forgotten about this!   
Earth: Now you will go back to your rightful times.   
The Light Fairy held up the Rod Of Power.   
Light: Send them back! So let it be!   
The three disappeared once more. 

Scene: Pleasantville Park, Present Time   
Merton appeared in the air and landed in a pile of dog dung.   
Merton: Aw, man! I managed to keep it clean all through the time of the dinosaurs only to have it ruined h . . .   
He looked at the town, which didn't look like Pleasantville at all.   
Merton: . . . ere.   
The town was dark and all the buildings were almost crumbling down. The skies were cloudy and lightening was striking.   
Merton: I think I made the problems in my time worse!   
He started to laugh nervously. He opened the book.   
Merton: What the heck happened here!   
Writing: You did not stop Cassandra from being bitten. Though you stopped her from biting Tommy. She bit Lori and she took over Pleasantville.   
Merton: Ive got to go to the lair and find a book to take me back in time! That way I can change it back to the way it was!   
Some heroic music played. Suddenly, the music stopped and sounded like a record stopping.   
Merton: Note to self: Make sure you can fgind your way back to present time after saving the earth again. 

TO BE CONTINUED 

A/N: Review? Yeah, review! ~Goes to the library and checks out the book, "How To End Author's Notes", by Catherine Schwartz.~   
  
  



	7. Hey, That's Not Potpourri!{it's prounoun...

Hey, That's Not Potpourri! 

By: cbpatches2001 

A/N: Okay, I have just now realized only one of my fics has a disclaimer! So, just to tell you: Nothing belongs to me in any of my fics, unless you have never even heard of them, then they're probably mine. All right, now you may read on! 

Scene: The Streets Of Pleasantville   
Merton walked and looked around. The town was unusually quiet and not a person was in sight. Suddenly, some footsteps were heard and Becky walked out.   
Merton: Ah!   
He fell backwards, quickly getting back up and brushing himself off afterwards.   
Merton: Becky!   
Becky: You have to come with me.   
Merton: Becky inviting me to come with her someplace . . .   
He got into a kunfu fighting position.   
Merton: All right you imposter, tell me where Becky is or I'll attack! I'm a goth on the edge!   
He shook his hands, pretending to tremble, trying to convince her he was a lunatic. Becky waved her hand in the air and he started floating.   
Merton: Ah!   
With another wave of her hand, a small transparent red box appeared around him.   
Merton: Did I ever mention that I'm claustrophobic?   
He laughed nervously as the box he was in started to float away, carrying him with it. 

Scene: The Factory   
The doors flung open and Merton was thrown into the factory. The doors were shut. Merton turned around and tried to open them. They were locked.   
Merton: Great job, Merton, who knew the doors would be locked?   
Voice from behind: Merton!   
Merton turned around and Tommy was sitting on an overturned table.   
Merton: Tommy?   
Tommy: Lori got you too!   
Merton: Excuse me?   
Tommy: Lori got you, I was sure you would make it too! Now we're both going to be turned into servants of hers.   
Merton: Servants?   
Tommy: Yes. Don't you remember? Lori was bitten by Cassandra and she took over the world. She found a spell and sucked someone's soul out, making them her slave.   
Merton: This was worse than I thought!   
There was a creaking sound and Becky came in, followed by tnt.   
Travis: Tommy Dawkins, come with us.   
Tommy stood up.   
Merton: Where are they taking you?   
Tommy: To become one of Lori's slaves.   
Merton: You're not going to fight? No fur and fangs? You're just going?   
Tommy: Yes. I can't do anything to stop her now.   
He went to the others and they walked outside. Just as they were slamming the door shut, Merton threw a piece of broken wood in between the doors and they stayed open. He ran to the doors and opened them, following the others. 

Scene: The Lair   
Merton followed the others there and they entered. He stared through the window. Lori was sitting at the desk as the others brought Tommy forward.   
Merton: How dare she use my sacred lair as a throne room?! Great, now she's stinking up the place with potpourri! Hey, that's not potpourri! That's ingredients for a spell!   
There was a flash of light from inside.   
Merton: No!   
He jumped inside, shattering the glass.   
Lori: Get him!   
Merton grabbed Tommy's hand and dragged him outside running.   
Merton: Hurry up, Tommy!   
Tommy didn't go any faster. Merton saw the others following behind him. He quickly turned to the side and they both went into an alleyway. The others continued running in another direction.   
Merton{panting}: You could have at least wolfed out and we'd have gone faster! *Pause* Tommy?   
He looked at Tommy. He was standing motionless.   
Merton: They sucked your soul out! Great, now I'm making pointless comments to someone who's half dead anyway!   
He looked up at the sky and shook one fist at it.   
Merton: Darn you spell ingredients similar to potpourri!   
He stopped shaking his fist and looked back to the ground.   
Merton: I've got it! I just say the same spell to stop Cassandra from being bitten, then say it backwards to take me back! *clears throat*   
_Turn time to terrible times_   
_catch Cassandra's caper_   
_prevent pasts_   
_slay the slayer!___

There was a flash of light and he disappeared. 

Scene: The Syndicate, the night Cassandra came   
Merton appeared in the air and landed, just the same way he did before.   
Cassandra: Merton, you-   
Merton: Followed you. Yeah, yeah, I know the line!   
He turned around and kicked Morticus, who was sneaking up behind him.   
Cassandra: How did you know he was there?   
Merton: No time to explain!   
Morticus started to get back up and Merton pushed him out the window. Cassandra, Rufus, and Merton all ran to the window cill. Morticus landed in a lake{Don't ask how a lake got there, because I have no idea . . . }.   
Merton: I did it! Cassandra, hate to run, but I have to go!   
He kissed Cassandra{Remember? They were boyfriend and girlfriend and I don't remember them breaking up!}.   
Merton:   
_Slay the slayer_   
_prevent pasts_   
_catch Cassandra's caper_   
_turn time to terrible times!___

He disappeared. 

Scene: The Park   
Merton landed beside Tommy and Lori, who were walking.   
Lori: Merton, are you all right?   
Merton got up and smiled.   
Merton: I saved you from being vampires!   
Tommy: Huh?   
Merton: It's a long story.   
Tommy v.o.: So Merton told us all what happened and I couldn't believe one word. Well, at least all of the evil was gone from Pleasantville . . . at least until next time.   
Merton: Hey, where's my book? 

Scene: The Syndicate, night Cassandra came   
Tina walked through the halls. She sees the book lying on the floor and picks it up.   
Tina: What's this . . . ? 

THE END{or is it?} 

A/N: Please review and tell me what you thought! I* need something to read! Also, thanks for all the good reviews I've gotten already! Thanks! Bye! 


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